Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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