Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I enjoy the company of your penis
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
