She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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