note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
