I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
