Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
