Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
wow bdsm is so cute
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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