I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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