Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
