We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
