my phone needs a breathalizer
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
