I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
