do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
