i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
