mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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