Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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