We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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