Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just google imaged poop.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
