Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
