The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
