I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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