yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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