dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
