found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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