I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
