I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
