About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
