So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize