I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
