I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
