3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
