Can Purell be used as lube?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
