We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
