Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
