I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
