I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
