I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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