In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Randomize
