I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
