Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
one might say we're banned from that church
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
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