yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
