Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Enjoy the penises
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
