Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Rumble strips road head = magical
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
