I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
