True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
