nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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