I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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