you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
