she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The best revenge is premature balding
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
