I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
