She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If I die, sorry about rent.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
